God Works in Mysterious Ways

Yesterday, I lost a friend to lung cancer. She was a co-worker for a short time, having just started at our store in August. A month or so after that she got sick with the flu, and wasn't getting better. In November, she found out she had cancer, although didn't tell us until a couple of weeks ago, when it had become very clear her time was short.

I had not known Marilyn long, but in the short time we were friends, I felt blessed to have her in my life. She was a delightful and interesting woman, and I know that had we been given the chance, we would have developed a solid friendship. I already miss her very much.

When she chose to let us know of her illness, Marilyn asked to be able to tell me herself before the announcement was made to the department. That was very touching, as it leads me to believe Marilyn also considered me to be a good friend, and valued our relationship. We had a short conversation on the phone, enough for me to know that her spirit was still strong.

Through communication with her family, we learned that Marilyn's time was very, very short. I became increasingly upset that while I had gotten to talk to her, I would never see her again, since it had rapidly reached the stage where only family was allowed to see or talk to her. The cosmetics team did what little we could. We sent a floral arrangement, and two days ago, on Friday evening, we prepared a meal for her family. Svetlana and I delivered it to the hospital, and Marilyn's daughter saw that a rule needed to be broken and took us in for a short time. She had just been medicated, and couldn't communicate well, but Marilyn obviously knew who we were and was glad to see us. Her grip on our hands was strong despite how weak she was. We got one last chance to tell her we loved her and missed her.

THAT was the last time I saw Marilyn, but I am so blessed. I got some closure, I got to tell her I loved her, and I know that she understood me. The next morning, when church ended, I saw I had voicemail and I knew right away that Marilyn was gone.

Many people beat cancer, and many people do not. I do not know why Marilyn was one of the ones who didn't. But in the tragedy of this, something has happened. I have learned how precious life is, and that is something I needed badly in light of my recent issues. So often in the past year I have come close to the edge of not wanting to live anymore, and while I know that these are not problems with easy solutions, I have now been given some perspective that makes me want to fight that kind of thing with every bit of strength I have.

Goodbye, Marilyn. In the short time we knew each other, you brought me so much more than you could ever have imagined. I have no doubt that we will meet again someday, in a better place. When we do, we will have Eternity to pick up our friendship again.

Christmas Eve Epiphany

If you're ever feeling down, here's what you need to do. Despite the fact that your first instinct is to sit at home and stew, go to the home of a good friend who has a house full of guests who laugh a lot. Laugh along with them. Play crokinole. Play Uno. Eat enough appetizers for 12 people. Trust me, it works.

Ramblings on a Tuesday

So, for it being the week of Christmas, it has started off as complete shat. Jamie is being just as thoughtless as usual. You'd think I'd get used to it after a years, but no. I have that big "L" on my forehead, you know. Plus, yesterday when I was doing my paperwork and completely not even paying attention to the world around me, I was treated to homophobic crap from two random d-bags passing my counter. I didn't give them the satisfaction of even looking up, but that sort of thing has a habit of happening just when I finally think it won't anymore, and when I'm already not exactly on the upswing of my overall mood cycles.

But it's Tuesday morning, and I'm off work today. I'm enjoying a cup of coffee and mindlessly surfing the Internet and Facebook. Canada Post is in the process of bringing me two Oz books and (very excited very excited very excited!) my new mini laptop, my first-ever BRAND NEW computer that nobody but me has used. I have had an unexpected invitation to join my brother and his delightful new girlfriend for lunch. I will wrap presents later today. I will mail a package to a new friend, and await his response to the surprise inside. I will do a little bit of shopping.

The problems won't go away. Jamie will still be thoughtless, at least for the foreseeable future. I have no doubt of that. People will still say hurtful things to total strangers. And the efforts of my psychologist will work, but not overnight. There is a lot of pain ahead. But right now, at 10:07 on a Tuesday morning, life isn't too bad.

Now I'm Nitpicking

I realize this is incredibly minor, and will probably make me the subject of ridicule to the, you know, TWO people who might see this. But it's my blog, and meaningless pet peeves are allowed.

Why must people refer to finger food as "appies?" Do they not realize they sound stupid? Do they not realize that we have an infinite number of syllables at our disposal and we don't need to conserve them will silly abbreviations? Do they not realize this "word" rhymes with a euphemism for diaper?

There. I am done.

Cell Phone Rudeness

I have no serious issue with people using their cell phones in public. Isn't that the point of them? I myself merrily text and check e-mail as I walk through the mall, although I do make sure I watch where I'm going. I don't need to run headlong into some muffin-topped teenybopper as she texts without watching where she is going. And as long as people don't feel the need to yell, I see nothing wrong with making a call, providing you're not in a movie theatre or something.

However...

Is it really too much to ask that you NOT stand there having some inane conversation about which parking meter to meet at while I'm trying to serve you in the store? Seriously. I have had customers come up to the counter, chattering away, point at a product, hand me a credit card, and sign the receipt without ever once saying a word to me. Clearly it is of such utmost importance that you find out what your friend Julie has been up to for the last week that you can't take the (literally) two minutes to grab your damned mascara, pay, say thank you, and leave without having the damn phone glued to your ear. I realize there is no consultation involved, and you know exactly what you want. But I am not a vending machine, and a little human courtesy is in order.

It's okay, though. We totally talk about you after you leave.

Honestly...

...is it too much to ask people to make more of an effort when they go out in public? Pajama bottoms belong at home, people! I'm not saying that leaving your house for the mall or the supermarket requires getting dressed up. But you have to at least get dressed!!!!!

As with most visible symptoms of the obvious downfall of mankind (this whole slob thing is right up there with misuse of the apostrophe, in my books), there as been noticeable deterioration even within the problem. As if wearing pajama bottoms as pants when shopping weren't bad enough, the other day I saw some random chick in plaid pajama bottoms with a big honking rip down the front of one leg. Never mind that it's 30 below these days... she was wearing ripped loungewear in public!!!! What's next? A big skidmark down the back?

Gods nightgown, people. Have some pride in yourself.

The Current State of Affairs

Rubbish of rubbishes, saith the beauty advisor. Rubbish of rubbishes. All is rubbish.

Yes, I know I sound dramatic, and I know I'm ripping off a prophet who has been dead for millennia. I stand by this statement.